Restroom Admonitions

When you're birding, the question of "Where's the closest restroom" starts percolating in the back of your mind about an hour after the first Wawa coffee and starts to become urgent about 5 minutes later. Restrooms climb a hierarchical ladder starting at "Does one exist," stepping up to "Rudimentary" as in Port-O-Sans which I usually have to investigate first before Shari will even consider one, then "Rudimentary Plus" which is an open pit but at least a permanent structure. From there, the next step up is the question of climate (warm in winter, no flies in summer) and then, at the top rung we have "Does it flush?"

"Is it entertaining in there?" is not a consideration for most birders, but inveterate reader that I am, I enjoy a little distraction while I'm "resting." Over the years, I've noticed that there's an awful lot of scoldings, warnings, and general admonitions going on in these johns and I've made a collection of them. Each sign tells a little story of the tug of war between the clientele and the restroom's proprietor.

For instance:

This sign must be available from a supply catalog for sanitary engineers, because I have seen it in every open pit toilet I have been in no matter if it was built by a county, state, or federal agency. It is justifiably grumpy because "extremely difficult to remove" is a euphemism for "extraordinarily disgusting."

There are instructional signs, which I appreciate it,  because, you know, sometimes I feel like I need a refresher course:

Although this one, from Australia, seemed a bit extreme:

There are warnings not to do something that up until that moment I'd never actually considered


There is poetry:

There is existentialism:

Meaning you better come out with the same personality as you went in with.

And then there is this wide-ranging sign.
 
The "absolutely" is perfect, as if "no" isn't nearly strong enough for these clowns to understand and the "No Smoking" sign stuck on the top as an afterthought, "Oh yeah, that too," is delightful. The sign, by the way, is just high enough on the wall so that if you wanted to vandalize it you'd have to sit on someone's shoulders or bring a step stool so maybe the next time I "go" there I'll see this sign:

ABSOLUTELY NO

SITTING ON SHOULDERS

OR STEP STOOLS ALLOWED 

IN THIS FACILITY